Revised Paper

With the help of a terrific editor (Thanks Teresa), I was able to clean up my paper. I have submitted it to some contests in hopes of getting it published and I wanted to repost the final story.


The Last Meeting


Joshua sat in the high-backed chair and could feel perspiration soaking into his clothing. Having already taken off his sweater, the only thing left to remove was his t-shirt, which would certainly make his meeting awkward. Joshua decided that he needed to get his mind off the heat in the office.

The room had blinds on the wall, but when Joshua opened them, he found more walls. Instead of lights, several candles hung on the walls. Despite the abundant number of candles, the office was still dark enough that Joshua needed to squint to see around the rest of the room. Maybe there was something wrong with the candles because after what felt like hours of waiting, the candles don’t seem to have burned down.

Squinting through the gloom of the office, Joshua could see that the pictures hung along the walls all appeared to have the same man smiling proudly into the camera. He was formally dressed in a black suit and tie while the other people in the pictures wore everything from a bathrobe to a rock star’s ensemble complete with a spiked collar. Joshua moved closer and found that in addition to their unusual attire, everyone’s faces were turned down with looks of sadness, shock, or fear.

Wondering what could cause so emotions, Joshua felt increasingly alarmed that he still couldn’t remember where he was or who he was meeting.

There was a high pitched grating as the poorly oiled lock on the door slowly turned and the door creaked open. Joshua was swept back in his chair by the intensity of the heat as well as the overwhelming smell of burnt rancid meat. In the doorway stood the man from the pictures, with his greasy black hair smoothly slicked back, wearing the same style black button up shirt and pants that he wore in the pictures that would be more suitable for a funeral than any type of meeting. Joshua felt intimidated at the look of confidence the man wore proudly.

“I apologize for keeping you waiting so long, but you know how business can be. It seems like an eternity since I have had a vacation,” said the man in a most sincere apologetic voice. The man let out a little chuckle at his private joke and closed the door behind him. As he moved into the room, the man cheerfully exclaimed, “It is nice to have you here!”

Despite feeling embarrassed that he still had no clue why he was meeting the man, Joshua stood up and extended his hand as he had done in numerous other meetings. Despite the cheerful greeting, the dark man ignored Joshua’s welcoming gesture and walked past him to sit on the other side of the desk.

The man sat back in his chair and laced his fingers together. “I must admit, that I have been waiting for you for sometime.”

“Really?” Joshua asked. He felt like he should apologize for keeping the man waiting, but the thought of the sad faces in the pictures had him reconsidering.

“Absolutely. It isn’t everyday that we get someone with your sort of values here.”

“Thanks . . . I think.”

The man smiled to himself as he pinned Joshua to the heated chair with the intensity of his gaze. He seemed to wait for Joshua to grasp something . . . something obvious to only the man.

Suddenly, the man threw back his head back and roared with laughter that resonated through the tiny office. The man continued to laugh an unusually long time, which added to Joshua’s unease.

The man’s laughter slowly subsided and he clutched his chest as he tried to catch his breath. “Oh man . . . I’m sorry, but you guys fall for it every time.” He unbuttoned the top button of his shirt and with laughter still shining in his black eyes; he leaned forward and said, “No. We actually get your type here every day. You, my good man, are in Hell.”

Joshua blinked quickly and waited for the laughter to return. There was an uncomfortable minute as they both stared at each other waiting for some reaction. Slowly, the laughter died form the man’s sinister eyes and Joshua began to question the man’s sanity. “I’m sorry, did you say Hell?”

“Yep. This is Hell, and I happen to be Satan.” He paused to let the information sink into Joshua’s numb brain. “Don’t feel special. I meet all of the newbies.” A smug, satisfied smile crept onto Satan’s face. With a sickening realization, Joshua recognized the same look that matched the pictures on the wall. It was the smile that made Joshua begin to believe that he could actually be in Hell. He even wondered if he should have a similar dejected look like the other down-trodden souls shown in the pictures. Surprisingly, he wasn’t upset at all. Obviously Satan had made a big mistake.

The man from the pictures seemed a little disappointed with Joshua’s lack of horror. “I know it may seem hard to believe, but we need to get past the whole disbelief and doubt. I have several other unlucky sinners to welcome. Here. This may help.” A expected, a quick flash of fire erupted on Satan’s face and the skin slowly melted away revealing a blackened skull that somehow still surprisingly appeared to be smiling. While it seemed like the typical Hollywood effect of portraying Satan, it defiantly helped hit home that the man in the black suit truly was Satan. Joshua wanted to claw his way over the back of the chair and run to safety, but he was frozen in terror. Regardless of the situation, watching anyone’s face melt off can be traumatizing.

Feeling satisfied that Joshua had come to understand the seriousness of the situation, the man’s skeleton began laughing again as his face slowly reformed. Luckily Satan had already proved himself as a long laugher, and Joshua had ample time to come up with a more appropriate response, “Uh . . . There . . . There,” Joshua was having difficulty forming a sentence. “There must be . . .” Joshua swallowed hard to get the rest out, “. . . a mix-up.”

The laughter ceased suddenly as Satan slapped his forehead and slowly dragged his hand down his face. “Why does everyone question me? You screwed up. You sinned. You died. You’ve gone to Hell. Don’t act too surprised.” Satan’s intense glare pinned Joshua again. “Don’t try telling me that you never heard the warnings. The big guy upstairs, who everyone loves so much, certainly went overboard with his advertising budget.

“Yeah . . . I did . . .” Before Joshua could go on, Satan broke his train of thought.

“Good, then you know why you are here.” Satan stood to leave; feeling satisfied that he had made his point.

Having never let an argument drop during his life, Joshua stood up too, “Actually, I don’t.”
Satan stopped what he was doing and turned slowly to face Joshua. Rather than the triumphant grin found in the pictures in the room, Satan’s face began to turn a deep shade of crimson, which made Joshua worry that it would erupt in flames again. “What don’t you understand? You break the rules, and you end up here.” Satan’s voice shook the pictures on the wall but Joshua refused to show fear. Nervously, Joshua swallowed the large lump in his throat and said, “No I understand that.”

Satan pointed to a stack of papers that suddenly appeared on his desk. “My records show that you commit several of my favorite sins.” Satan began to list off Joshua’s biggest transgressions with his fingers, “Fornication, blasphemy, laziness, and wearing black pants with brown belts in the same outfit to name a few.”

Satan lowered his hand and shrugged, “Okay, the last one isn’t too bad, but you get my point. So let’s make our way to the brimstone and eternity of suffering, shall we?”

Satan extended his arm to the door, politely indicating that Joshua should lead the way. A lifetime of office politics had taught Joshua that the first to leave was the one who lost the argument. Joshua continued to stand his ground and made a feeble attempt at copying Satan’s glare. Satan figured he was going to have to call one of the hell hounds to drag the poor disbelieving fool from his office. But before he could move to call his loyal pets, he was shocked when Joshua began manically laughing. Satan was furious that Joshua had the nerve to use his bitt!

Joshua slowly stopped laughing as Satan came to grips with the fact that Joshua had turned the tables on him. With a long sigh, Joshua flopped down in his chair and with a toothy smile simply said, “I don’t belong here.”

Satan threw up his hands with impatience. “Ok, you are forcing me to get my hell hounds.”
As Satan began turning the handle to leave, Joshua’s next words interrupted him. “I got baptized last week.”

Joshua watched Satan’s back waited for a reaction, but Satan just continued to hold the door knob. As long as Satan wasn’t talking, Joshua figured he should fill the silence. “You are right that I used to proudly sin, but after awhile I found that I needed more than my party lifestyle. A couple of months ago two guys wearing white shirts and ties knocked on my door. I listened to what they had to say and let them baptize me last week. No more sins.”

With a defeated sigh, Satan said, “Well crap.” Satan’s head dropped and he looked down at his feet. “Death bed baptism, huh?” Satan shook his head in disbelief. “Well, we could have had some real fun. At least I would have.”

Satan turned to face Joshua and smiled a sickly smile, definitely not as proudly as he had in each of the pictures framed on the walls. He held up his hand and snapped his fingers.

Joshua woke and looked around when a cool breeze gently blew across his face. He found himself standing outside gates of the most brilliant white and gold. He breathed in the crisp fresh air. He murmured Satan’s words softly to himself, “You screw up. You Sinned. You died. You’ve gone to hell. Don’t act too surprised.” Luckily for Joshua the rules go both ways: You screw up. You sinned. You repent. You died. You’ve gone to Heaven. Joshua smiled proudly as he pushed open the heavy gates and walked through.